Welcome to the World Wide Weird

Just bought some scratchie lottery tickets? Good Luck!

Plan to scratch them WHILE driving a borrowed Rolls Royce – you’re asking for Bad Luck!

Lottery fan’s fortunes sink when Rolls goes in the Drink
May 26, 2005 – Updated: 11:23 AM EST

Stan Standrick of Quincy was scratching lottery tickets in the car when he threw it in reverse. Instead of backing up, the vehicle lunged forward into the ocean, where waves crashed over it and seaweed lodged in the seat and dashboard.

Standrick borrowed the car from Fields Corner Auto Glass to go to a doctor’s appointment in Dorchester while his car was in the shop.

O’Brien said he did get a chance to sit in a Rolls for the first time after the 45-minute rescue, but he doesn’t expect to take it out for a spin.

“I don’t think that car will ever get a chance to ride again,” he said.

No word on what if anything Stan managed to win.

They even say PLEASE. Good enough for me!

From Dave’s Funny Pictures – Go and check the rest of them!

As Yoda would say “Just a movie, only this is”:-

Star Wars fans burnt in light sabre duel
26 May 2005
Two British Star Wars fans were critically injured when they tried to replicate the light sabres used in the movie by filling glass fluorescent light tubes with fuel, police and a news report said yesterday.

The pair, Mark Webb, 20, and an unidentified 17-year-old girl, were planning to make a video recording of the sabre duel.

They were injured when one of the makeshift sabres exploded in the woods in Hemel Hempstead, north of London.

Hertfordshire Police said the two injured were in critical condition at a burns unit in Chelmsford, Essex.

I disagree Chris, it’s easy to come up with original posts, largely because there is so much STOOPIDness to comment upon. Take these examples for instance

Due to the fact that we have a Nut Bush in the Whitehouse (yes Mildred, I do like the sound of that) we are seeing the rise of the Looney Right-Wing fringe. This has of course been happening for some time now, but I thought I’d show you how ridiculous this trend has become.

Firstly at Miss Poppy we see that it is possible to buy a whole heap of useless religious junk, including these Christian panties:-

What would Jesus do? Well, I suspect he wouldn’t have tried to get into THOSE pants for one. Oh and I seem to recall something about love and forgiveness and such. As to the wrestlers on the 2nd pair, I confess I have NO idea whatsoever what THAT is about

Then we have this sort of thing reminding us that Dubbya is in fact God’s chosen one. If this is the case then all I can say is God has shit taste in politicians.

Coming as no surprise is the news that there are no shortage of evangelists who will glady take your hard-earned money, but then that’s been the case for too long.

Gay authors – lets have no more of that:-
Republican Alabama lawmaker Gerald Allen says homosexuality is an unacceptable lifestyle. Under his bill, public school libraries could no longer buy new copies of plays or books by gay authors, or about gay characters.

Does this mean the works of Hunter S. Thompson (self-confessed drug user) will also be removed from the shelves? Shakespeare was rumoured to have had a bet on both sides so maybe his works should also be canned (please!). I also seem to recall a book written by someone called Charles Manson, I take it this book will still be available? Niave me used to think that if you were gay and hurt no-one then it was none of anyone else’s business; what would I know?

63% of Americans believe the Bible is Literally true. Literally as in flat-earth standing at the centre of the universe, Noah’s Ark, parting the red sea literally.

The Constitution Restoration Act currently before congress aims to restore the U.S. constitution by :-

“…Barring any federal court or judge from ever again reviewing “any matter to the extent that relief is sought against an entity of Federal, State, or local government, or against an officer or agent of Federal, State, or local government (whether or not acting in official or personal capacity), concerning that entity’s, officer’s, or agent’s acknowledgment of God as the sovereign source of law, liberty, or government.”

The court battle between evolution and Christian Science (they call it Intelligent Design now) has made a comeback. This time the scientists have decided not even to lower themselves the the level of the religious fundamentalists and did not show up in the Kansas courtroom.

The pastor who decided to expel from his church and excommunicate any of his congregation who either voted for Kerry, or would not now support Bush. He later claims it was a mis-understanding but it is hard to see how.

And who can forget how the religious right were all over the Terri Schiavo case? Forget the wishes of Terri or her husband, forget the fact that the highest court in the land ruled against them a number of times, these RW fruitcakes now DEMAND to set the agenda, not merely to follow it. So, what else do they want?:-

Criminalization of abortion; reintroduction of school prayer; the installation of stone-hewn recreations of the Ten Commandments; the full advancement of all aspects of what could be considered the pro-live movement; the reduction of gays and lesbians to a status somewhere between World War II-interned citizens of Japanese descent and pre-emancipation black slaves; all of these things are items that they fully expect to be placed squarely back on the table.

Now I realise CapSlog can’t simply throw this post in without some small comment as to his personal beliefs. Simply put religion (all religions) have their place and should be able to co-exist peacefully (huh! fat chance!). I have the right to observe or not observe any religion you name, so do you. If I should choose to eat or not eat substance A then that is really no one else’s business. Same should I choose to observe the sabath on any day of the week.

Like I said religion has it’s place and many religious groups and charities do great work, we should hear more and more of that and less and less of the Right-Wing Loons who wish to ride roughshod over the rights of others. According to these people (to whom the words WACO and JONESTOWN have no meaning) THEIR rights are more important than yours.

The more examples of Right-Wing fruitcakeness I find the more I am dis-heartened. But then most of this is happening in Yankee Dandy Doodle land, it couldn’t happen here???

Happy Birthday Mildred! May your day be full of quiet reflection, job satisfaction and recognition for all your hard work, and may people stop you in the street to tell you what a truly wonderful person you are. In other words may you have an Oprah Day.

Humble thanks go to those who enjoy these posts. I promise I’ll never let it get to my head, this paper bag is already too tight.

Today, I noticed the following stories from a geek site I frequent called PDA Alive.

The first reports that:-
A man in India has reportedly managed to send 182,689 SMS text messages in just one month. This equates to roughly (and feel free to check my math on this) 4.228 texts every minute, or about 6,000 messages a day.

Now Cap Slog remains rather skeptical about this huge number of SMSes being sent. Forget the 4.2 messages a minute EVERY minute for a whole month, what about the cost? Here in good old Oz, Mr Forgetmacar would be forking out 25 cents per message, or $45,672.25 which would buy a few Papadums I can tell you. Then there is the little matter of RSI; what state would your thumbs be in after that many messages? At 4.2 messages a minute there is no time at all for sleep, meals, toilet breaks or washing of hands afterwards (no problem there for some). But the most unlikely reason why I simply can’t believe this story is that no man could possibly have that much to say. A woman yes, hell most women could communicate the equivalent of half a million messages a day, and then some. But never a guy.

Then there is is story (source unknown) entitled The top 10 causes of Cell Phone Damage

I know, I know, but replace the word “cell” for “mobile” and you can still follow the article along.

10. Dropped in the snow.
Well snow is a little hard to come by lately in Oztrailia. Same for rain or any kind of precipitation. Then again the idea of skiing down K-12 at 100 KPH while talking into a phone “Yes Dave, I left that report in my office under the Petermen file” doesn’t sound very clever.

9. Damaged from sweat.
The mobile owner’s or someone else’s? Since when did Nokia make an underarm mobile holster?

8. Left on roof of car.
Possible, but not the sort of mistake you are likely to make twice, or three times, or (lets see how many mobiles have I owned?).

7. Dropped into the sea.
Refer comment 9 re Nokia Speedo pouch.

6. Dropped into toilet.
Bugger! This happened to me once. I even got the thing working again but nobody ever wanted to call me again after they found out what happened.

5. Destroyed by dog or child.
This BETTER not happen to me or said “dog or child” will be put down. But then again I hear in Norway there are more mobiles than people, so maybe dogs have their own. Who knows?

4. Thrown to the ground in rage.
I can’t say this ever occurred to me. I would have though disconnecting the call was a less expensive alternative.

3. Used handset in the rain.
“Dad, I’m just calling to say it’s raining so can you pick me up from…. Dad?….Dad?….. Doh!”

2. Squeezed into tight jeans.
Who’s? Kirstie Alley’s? What sort of PSI are we talking about here?

And the No. 1 cause of Mobile Phone Damage is:-
1. Dropped on the ground.
I was expecting something more exciting, like dropped on ground during the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona, Spain. But then if the phone had a camera you might get some cool pics for the coroner to enjoy.

and especially…