Welcome to the World Wide Weird

For a year now I’ve been monitoring the goings on at this site, and believe me when I tell you that anything I say about it doesn’t begin to touch upon how funny it is.Overheard in New York started when people in New York recorded the oddest conversations so as we could all listen in. You know how it works, someone says something to someone else and the fortunate bystander who just happens to hear the whole thing is left asking what on Earth is going on.

For example you say?

For example this:-

Dude #1: I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Dude #2: Ummm… Hmmm.

And it’s not just New Yorkers that are having all the fun. I’ve seen equally odd conversations in cities all around the world like this one:-

Yuppie kid: Mommy shaves her hoo-hoo!
Yuppie dad: Okay, honey. Look, do you want your book?
Yuppie kid: I came in the bathroom this morning and asked Mommy what she was doing and she said shaving her hoo-hoo. Mommy shaves her hoo-hoo!
Yuppie dad: Dylan, remember when we discussed at-home conversations and outside conversations?
Yuppie kid: Yes.
Yuppie dad: Well, this is an at-home conversation.
Yuppie kid: Okay, daddy. [Sings to herself quietly] Mommmyyy shaves her hoo-hooo…
Black lady: See, home conversating, outside conversating — that’s bullshit. My kid says shit like that, I smack him. He won’t say shit like that again.
Yuppie dad: Okay, thank you, but I think our method works just fine.
Yuppie kid: Lady, do you shave your hoo-hoo?
Black lady: Oh, yeah, that shit is workin’ just fine. She’s all kinds of polite.
Yuppie dad: Okay, Dylan, this is our stop.

And better still, it’s not only the streets we have virtual ears on. Check the links to hear the latest wacky goings on at work and at the beach. And here you can listen in on what they’re teaching kids in college. For example, this from Texas A&M University

Girlfriend: I think I’m gonna give up sex for Lent.
Boyfriend: Really? I’m not. I wonder how that’s gonna work out.

Go, trust Cap slog on this, go and read for yourself.

As the saying goes, ‘those that can – do, those that can’t – teach’. Well maybe that’s how it used to be, nowadays it’s more correct to say those that can’t should try Yahoo’s message board.

For example, try this simple sounding query:-

Ways to get chicks? – suggest some. This valentine day is just a start, the whole life is valentine day.

Ah the question of love. How does a truly enlightened guy in the 21^st century find a lady? Well you’ve come to the right place, because Yahoo surely shall point us in the right direction.

First is the boastful response:-

I’ve had mine for so long that I forget

 

The humourous:-

Hatch a few eggs

 

Wearetwofatfarmers helpfully suggests:-

You could always do like the olden days of the caveman…just use a club and drag them back to your cave..but dont drag them back by the feet..they tend to “fill” up…..

 

Of course this advice, while helpful, may not actually work. In fact the next two comments remind us:-

And don’t carry them like a six-pack. It’s disrespectful.

Just dont pick on Zena Warrior Princess. She bites and kicks

 

Gotcha! Closer to what we are after, Feralflee tells us:-

You simply suck in your gut, puff out your chest and say, in quite an authoritative tone “come here wench”. Gets them every time.

 

I don’t know if this works, but it wouldn’t hurt to try would it?

 

Of course this is only a message board, but you can always trust someone to not take such a weighty question seriously. This time it’s Daemoniseme’s turn to spoil the fun:-

Try being respectful and treating them like they are the only person in existence

 

As if!

 

Other worthy responses :-

I generally just drape my ol’ fella over my knee & smile.
Guess I must have a nice smile.

 

When they’re talking, just smile and nod and pretend that you’re interested.

 

“Hey, beautiful, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?”

 

An Armani suit and a Gold American Express card will do it. Sheilas can smell money at 300 metres.

So now we all know