Welcome to the World Wide Weird

Dear Diary April 7, 2007

The juggernaut that is Anna Nicole Smith just gathers more steam. I’ve been asking myself for a while now when it will stop, now I’m not sure it ever will.

Access Hollywood (of course I keep in touch – its my homepage) reports that excerpts of her diary (which is up for auction) were made public, and now I’m left questioning everything I thought I knew. There I was thinking I was enjoying a productive and happy life, until I read how A.N.S. got through the day. Man! Talk about excitement city.

WOW! How about that for an action packed existence. Imagine if there were pages and pages of this stuff? C’mon Hollywood, make the movie already!!!

What else does A.N.S. have to say?

“Howard has been buying me some jewrlry (sic),” Smith writes in a page made public. “He call me 15 or 20 times a day it drives me crazy. I love him but he aggravates me sometimes.”

Yeah well bad spelling aside you have to feel for the Texas high school dropout who became a topless dancer and married 89-year-old billionaire.

“I hate for men to want sex all the time,” she wrote. “I hate sex anyway. I only like it with Clay now that he’s out of my life.”

You got that right girlfriend! Apparently, the diaries also reveal she was often depressed and had an eating disorder. Can’t see why of course. Then again if she had any actual FOOD in her fridge she may have HAD something to eat. Something other than the chloral hydrate, valium, carisoprodol, methocarbamol, topomax and Klonopin prescriptions all found in her home.

Nerds Are People Too February 13, 2007

Just in time for Valentine’s day, is this helpful advice. Those of you who know a nerd may like to save this link and forward it on. But true nerds like myself are probably already well on top of this news. For months now this has been my homepage.

Fashion4Nerds have collected these 10 Fashion Suggestions. Who knows? They may even help a few of us score with the Laaaadieeeeees tomorrow. We can always hope right?

10. Always wear a belt

Pants have belt-loops for a reason. Use them. You can’t go wrong with black or brown, but stay away from large, fancy buckles…

Belt, gotcha. Easy peasy so far, especially for me, as I wear the same belt EVERY day regardless of which pants (pronounced ‘trousers’ by the fashion conscious).

9. White socks are only worn during athletic activities

Okay, chalk this one up as a surprise to me. As far as I was aware, white socks are chic, and athletic anything is way boring. Sure you can jog or exercise or crap with an iPod, but it must be hell to try and read an ebook while on the move.

8. Make sure nails are trimmed and clean

No problemo, chewed freshly daily.

7. No facial hair

As if!

6. Pants – no pleats or tapered legs

5. If it has a hole, tear or discoloration throw it out

Hold on, I have a Felix the Cat T-Shirt (I know I know, those of you without one are already googling where you can get one, right?) that has seen more than a few summers. Sure it may look a little chewed, but it still looks amazing on. Trust me.

4. Running shoes are for the gym ONLY

Um, nerds don’t run, refer No.9. It’s been scientifically proven you actually get wetter by running in the rain as opposed to walking.

3. Do NOT wear free or company t-shirts

I’m guessing this rule is advisory only. If you work for a way cool IT Security firm or your company will be releasing an IPO anytime soon, then this surely won’t apply. I mean an IBM T-Shirt just oozes – well something.

2. Do NOT tuck in your shirt (unless at a formal event)

Huh? Now I admit I’m lost. If its a shirt it NEEDS to be tucked in, to your underwear even. How do you expect it to stay put otherwise? Hell even my pyjamas are tucked in!

And the LAST tip? The one thing you must never EVER do?

I guess sandals must call for knee highs.